Had my first cuddle with Stanley today. Amazing feeling, difficult to describe really. Never really thought it would happen like this – I always imagined it happening in the operating theatre straight after the babies were born, not three weeks later.
We’re starting to feel a lot more like real parents now. Most people will just take for granted the fact that they can just hold their babies - and why not; this shouldn't be happening - but I think after this we will always appreciate it.
Saturday 16 October 2010
Friday 15 October 2010
15th October
There was a certain level of excitement in the air today. Yesterday there was talk of a potential cuddle with Stanley – now that he is relatively stable. He (and Willow) have also had their ‘long lines’ removed now. The long line is basically the main tube which was going up their legs all the way to their hearts. This was the route the major drip was taking, which was providing the fluids and nutrition. So, since the milk intake had now increased to 5ml an hour, this was all the nutrition they should now require; hence the drip could be removed. Another good thing about this was that a major potential source of infection was being removed.
After Nanna and Grandad had visited again today, it was time for the main event – cuddle time. Leela was understandably over the moon at the prospect. Although I’d very much like a cuddle with my babies, I think it is even harder for the mother, and certainly more important for the youngsters.
So Stanley was out of his box for half an hour, and seemed to enjoy being back close to Mummy where he really should still be. I didn’t get to hold him today but perhaps I’ll get the next one. It was amazing to see Leela with one of our babies, especially as it made her so happy.
A bit later on we decided to visit the canteen in the main hospital. Not sure we’ll be doing that again. It’s located down in the basement, and you’re greeted with a very pungent hospital/farmyard smell when you approach the restaurant area. We opted for what was supposed to be an apple doughnut, and a cup of coffee. The ‘doughnut’ was really just a stale bit of dough filled with cheap apple mush, the coffee about as good as you’d expect.
After Nanna and Grandad had visited again today, it was time for the main event – cuddle time. Leela was understandably over the moon at the prospect. Although I’d very much like a cuddle with my babies, I think it is even harder for the mother, and certainly more important for the youngsters.
So Stanley was out of his box for half an hour, and seemed to enjoy being back close to Mummy where he really should still be. I didn’t get to hold him today but perhaps I’ll get the next one. It was amazing to see Leela with one of our babies, especially as it made her so happy.
A bit later on we decided to visit the canteen in the main hospital. Not sure we’ll be doing that again. It’s located down in the basement, and you’re greeted with a very pungent hospital/farmyard smell when you approach the restaurant area. We opted for what was supposed to be an apple doughnut, and a cup of coffee. The ‘doughnut’ was really just a stale bit of dough filled with cheap apple mush, the coffee about as good as you’d expect.
Thursday 14 October 2010
13th/14th October
I was worrying about the morning call on Wednesday after leaving Stanley with his bradycardia attacks still being quite regular. But – I spoke to the nurse and got a very good report. Since midnight he’d all but stopped being naughty, and was much more stable. Also, the nurse who was looking after Willow, was very pleased with her progress too. He even said there was a possibility of her coming off the ventilator today as well, but not to be disappointed if she was still on it when we came in.
We came into the hospital as normal after lunch, and saw Willow's nurse in the corridor. He said he thought we’d be pleased when we went in. So in we went and Willow was off the ventilator! We couldn’t believe it – and with Stanley doing so much better today as well. We were extremely pleased – almost happy. The trouble is, you don’t want to let yourself be too happy because you never know what is around the corner. This was one of the ‘up’ bits of the rollercoaster.
We went to get a coffee from BP and saw SCAT in there for some taxi talk.
Thursday was another good day, both children very stable. Stanley even got a cake today, for passing the 1 kilo landmark. Although he’d obviously been heavier than that when he’d been born, this was a lovely gesture from one of the nurses, who bakes a cake each time babies hit the 1,000g mark.
So, another good day. We’re trying to enjoy these moments without getting all complacent about it. It may yet all go wrong, but Willow and Stanley’s chances are getting better.
We came into the hospital as normal after lunch, and saw Willow's nurse in the corridor. He said he thought we’d be pleased when we went in. So in we went and Willow was off the ventilator! We couldn’t believe it – and with Stanley doing so much better today as well. We were extremely pleased – almost happy. The trouble is, you don’t want to let yourself be too happy because you never know what is around the corner. This was one of the ‘up’ bits of the rollercoaster.
We went to get a coffee from BP and saw SCAT in there for some taxi talk.
Thursday was another good day, both children very stable. Stanley even got a cake today, for passing the 1 kilo landmark. Although he’d obviously been heavier than that when he’d been born, this was a lovely gesture from one of the nurses, who bakes a cake each time babies hit the 1,000g mark.
So, another good day. We’re trying to enjoy these moments without getting all complacent about it. It may yet all go wrong, but Willow and Stanley’s chances are getting better.
Tuesday 12 October 2010
Tuesday 12th October
Called this morning and got some very positive news – both Willow and Stanley had good, stable nights and had been weaned off the ventilator quite a bit.
When we arrived at NICU today, everyone was quite excited as Stanley was going to come off the ventilator and onto CPAP. We knew this was a big step in the right direction but that it was not going to be easy for our son. At about 4pm, it was time – so Stanley was ‘extubated’ and transferred onto the CPAP machine. He coped relatively well but it was still not easy viewing for us parents.
So, today was now to prove one of those ‘roller coaster’ days. After such positive things this morning, Stanley was having a really tough time after coming off the ventilator. He had bradycardias every few minutes, and took a while to get his sats back up after each one. Later on, the docs agreed he should move onto ‘Bi Pap’. This is more of a middle ground between the ventilator and CPAP so he should be able to cope a bit better.
He still seemed to be struggling quite a bit, so I was sitting between my two children closely watching the monitors for a few hours.
Thankfully Willow was being relatively stable at this point, but still had the odd episode. This is really no fun at all, watching your baby son and daughter basically fight for their lives all day, every day.
The nurse was doing a great job looking after Stanley, but we had to wait until the handover to ask reassurance from the next nurse, who was on nightshift, that she would not leave him. She told us her husband is called Stanley, so she’d know how to handle him.
So we left after a very up-and-down day, feeling emotionally exhausted. And to top it off I had my annual unexplained bloody painful foot problem!
When we arrived at NICU today, everyone was quite excited as Stanley was going to come off the ventilator and onto CPAP. We knew this was a big step in the right direction but that it was not going to be easy for our son. At about 4pm, it was time – so Stanley was ‘extubated’ and transferred onto the CPAP machine. He coped relatively well but it was still not easy viewing for us parents.
So, today was now to prove one of those ‘roller coaster’ days. After such positive things this morning, Stanley was having a really tough time after coming off the ventilator. He had bradycardias every few minutes, and took a while to get his sats back up after each one. Later on, the docs agreed he should move onto ‘Bi Pap’. This is more of a middle ground between the ventilator and CPAP so he should be able to cope a bit better.
He still seemed to be struggling quite a bit, so I was sitting between my two children closely watching the monitors for a few hours.
Thankfully Willow was being relatively stable at this point, but still had the odd episode. This is really no fun at all, watching your baby son and daughter basically fight for their lives all day, every day.
The nurse was doing a great job looking after Stanley, but we had to wait until the handover to ask reassurance from the next nurse, who was on nightshift, that she would not leave him. She told us her husband is called Stanley, so she’d know how to handle him.
So we left after a very up-and-down day, feeling emotionally exhausted. And to top it off I had my annual unexplained bloody painful foot problem!
Monday 11 October 2010
Monday 11th October
I’m really feeling a lot of love for these babies now. Got a real wave of emotion while looking at Willow when she looked at me with her big eyes. And Stanley was holding my hand so tightly; I felt proud to be his dad. Stanley was better today and really trying hard to breathe on his own. Looks like they will try and wean him off first before giving him any steroids.
But, Willow was not strong enough, so the steroids will start tonight for her. Let's hope they work.
Dinner was a chicken doner burger and massive chips from Noor. Not very healthy, but very, very tasty.
At the moment we’re a bit worried about the phenomenon of what's known as ‘preemie head’ or ‘toaster head’ where premature babies’ heads get moulded into slightly abnormal shapes. This is due to still having soft bones in the head, and then being laid down rather than floating about in the womb. I’m pretty sure though, that they will sort themselves out. I think we've got enough to worry about anyway.
But, Willow was not strong enough, so the steroids will start tonight for her. Let's hope they work.
Dinner was a chicken doner burger and massive chips from Noor. Not very healthy, but very, very tasty.
At the moment we’re a bit worried about the phenomenon of what's known as ‘preemie head’ or ‘toaster head’ where premature babies’ heads get moulded into slightly abnormal shapes. This is due to still having soft bones in the head, and then being laid down rather than floating about in the womb. I’m pretty sure though, that they will sort themselves out. I think we've got enough to worry about anyway.
Sunday 10 October 2010
Sunday 10th October
Dinner at the Olds' tonight – rosti and schnatzletz (apologies for bad spelling, Mum. Can't even find that made-up Swiss word on the internet). Bloody nice actually.
I bought a luxurious office chair from Argos on the way to the hospital today. Looking forward, in a way, to setting up my office so it’ll be more comfortable to work from home. Not that I’ll be able to concentrate much.
The babies were both quite stable today, and the doc talked to us about steroids etc. They were going to try them imminently, as both are really going nowhere with breathing at the moment.
I bought a luxurious office chair from Argos on the way to the hospital today. Looking forward, in a way, to setting up my office so it’ll be more comfortable to work from home. Not that I’ll be able to concentrate much.
The babies were both quite stable today, and the doc talked to us about steroids etc. They were going to try them imminently, as both are really going nowhere with breathing at the moment.
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