Chillaxing on the sofa..
Willow's fist showing Stanley who's boss
Willow being very inquisitive as usual
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Monday 14th February
Today was officially the best day of all time. Things were going well from the start - the new Bright Eyes album was released today (and it's amazing), the sun was shining, the morning NICU phonecall was another good one, the bus was just pulling up to the stop as I got there, and I had the exact change for it in my pocket.
More importantly, we arrived at the hospital this morning knowing that we'd be coming out of there as a family of four for the first time. In fact, we'd known since the doctors' round last Tuesday that today was to be the day of our release, on the condition that neither Willow or Stanley got up to any funny business in the meantime. We didn't tell anyone about this, in case it didn't happen again. We couldn't be dealing with explaining to everyone why they're still not home.
So, as I had some things to tie up at work before I could have two whole weeks off, Leela went in on her own again today and I followed on the number 15 a few hours later. Just as I arrived, the doc was about to start doing the final check of our babies to tell us if they were allowed to go home or not. Both of them passed the test, and were given the all-clear.
So that was it then, we were free to go. After 143 days, over 2,000 miles, a parking fine, a car crash, 65 train tickets (only three of which even got checked), two hospitals, ten different cot locations, a PDA ligation, about fourteen blood transfusions, two rounds of steroids, 45 americanos, 32 BP meal deals, 300 phone calls to NICU, a whole Christmas silly season, far too many Zinger towers and 143 sleepless nights, we were finally all going home, together. It was an exciting and scary, but most of all unbelievably happy moment.
We're quite sad to be leaving behind the NICU family who have looked after and put up with us for the last third of a year. We're not going to have anyone to ask a million questions to every day, and generally look really worried in front of. The support we've had as parents is more than anyone could hope for in this situation; sometimes it's even been a pleasure being there. The nurses always know the right thing to say. One thing I remember someone said after about three days in, was quite simply 'We'll get them through this'. Something in the way she said it made me believe her, despite the fact that so early on, no-one could have known what might happen, or known how joyful or terrible the outcome might have been. But those few words were said with such confidence that they kept ringing in my head the whole time we were in there. There were some moments that were just too awful to comprehend. When Willow came back from Southampton and her lungs were in such a dire state, we really didn't know if she'd make it out of there. But her little fighting spirit was what pulled her through in the end; we really shouldn't have even doubted her. If they can both get through this, they'll get through anything life decides to throw at them.
So we said some emotional goodbyes, and walked out of NICU for the last time as residents. We were now those annoying people coming out of the hospital with the car seats, who we'd been looking at so bitterly since September. It didn't seem quite real, and still doesn't. We are now actual parents, and have full responsibility for these two precious little humans.
We're coping reasonably well so far, although it does get quite hectic when both the babies wake up hungry at the same time. It's still a pain having to cart around oxygen bottles and sat monitors everywhere we go, but that's a small price to pay for having them home with us. We're going to spend the next few days hibernating; just the four of us getting to know each other. We're going to have to be extremely strict with infection control. After seeing what happens to them when they get an infection, it's not worth taking the risk. So no-one other than immediate family will be able to handle them for a few months, until the summer arrives and brings with it less germs than winter.
Usually, right about now, I'd be phoning the NICU hotline for an update on how our children are getting on; each time dreading bad news on the other end of the line. Now, we just have to look across the room and see them fast asleep, dreaming of eating and never far off waking.
So today is the start of the next phase in the lives of Willow and Stanley. Their story so far has seen a lot more stress and troubles than most people would think is possible. We're ready now for the next installment, and we can't wait to share all their future adventures with them.
More importantly, we arrived at the hospital this morning knowing that we'd be coming out of there as a family of four for the first time. In fact, we'd known since the doctors' round last Tuesday that today was to be the day of our release, on the condition that neither Willow or Stanley got up to any funny business in the meantime. We didn't tell anyone about this, in case it didn't happen again. We couldn't be dealing with explaining to everyone why they're still not home.
So, as I had some things to tie up at work before I could have two whole weeks off, Leela went in on her own again today and I followed on the number 15 a few hours later. Just as I arrived, the doc was about to start doing the final check of our babies to tell us if they were allowed to go home or not. Both of them passed the test, and were given the all-clear.
So that was it then, we were free to go. After 143 days, over 2,000 miles, a parking fine, a car crash, 65 train tickets (only three of which even got checked), two hospitals, ten different cot locations, a PDA ligation, about fourteen blood transfusions, two rounds of steroids, 45 americanos, 32 BP meal deals, 300 phone calls to NICU, a whole Christmas silly season, far too many Zinger towers and 143 sleepless nights, we were finally all going home, together. It was an exciting and scary, but most of all unbelievably happy moment.
We're quite sad to be leaving behind the NICU family who have looked after and put up with us for the last third of a year. We're not going to have anyone to ask a million questions to every day, and generally look really worried in front of. The support we've had as parents is more than anyone could hope for in this situation; sometimes it's even been a pleasure being there. The nurses always know the right thing to say. One thing I remember someone said after about three days in, was quite simply 'We'll get them through this'. Something in the way she said it made me believe her, despite the fact that so early on, no-one could have known what might happen, or known how joyful or terrible the outcome might have been. But those few words were said with such confidence that they kept ringing in my head the whole time we were in there. There were some moments that were just too awful to comprehend. When Willow came back from Southampton and her lungs were in such a dire state, we really didn't know if she'd make it out of there. But her little fighting spirit was what pulled her through in the end; we really shouldn't have even doubted her. If they can both get through this, they'll get through anything life decides to throw at them.
So we said some emotional goodbyes, and walked out of NICU for the last time as residents. We were now those annoying people coming out of the hospital with the car seats, who we'd been looking at so bitterly since September. It didn't seem quite real, and still doesn't. We are now actual parents, and have full responsibility for these two precious little humans.
We're coping reasonably well so far, although it does get quite hectic when both the babies wake up hungry at the same time. It's still a pain having to cart around oxygen bottles and sat monitors everywhere we go, but that's a small price to pay for having them home with us. We're going to spend the next few days hibernating; just the four of us getting to know each other. We're going to have to be extremely strict with infection control. After seeing what happens to them when they get an infection, it's not worth taking the risk. So no-one other than immediate family will be able to handle them for a few months, until the summer arrives and brings with it less germs than winter.
Usually, right about now, I'd be phoning the NICU hotline for an update on how our children are getting on; each time dreading bad news on the other end of the line. Now, we just have to look across the room and see them fast asleep, dreaming of eating and never far off waking.
So today is the start of the next phase in the lives of Willow and Stanley. Their story so far has seen a lot more stress and troubles than most people would think is possible. We're ready now for the next installment, and we can't wait to share all their future adventures with them.
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Sunday 13th February
After a very enjoyable stag night in Devon yesterday, Sunday morning welcomed me with something I've not experienced much recently - a stinking hangover. Not the best thing to take with you to NICU, as it would make the bad things a whole lot worse. Thankfully though today, there wasn't any of that.
This evening, while back at home, the song 'Wires' by Athlete came on the radio. It's one that completely passed me by when it first came out, as it meant nothing to me whatsoever. Now, it has a totally different effect. Listening to that, while looking at the first photos of Willow and Stanley, really brought it all back into perspective and it touched us both a lot more than it did when we heard it three or four months ago. If this whole nightmare all happened again right now and we had to see our babies lying helpless with tubes down their throats and wires all over them for weeks on end, we'd crack up completely. The difference is back then, they weren't really our babies, they were just these small creatures who we hadn't got to know yet.
Now, they are definitely our children and there are signs that they may be coming home with us in the not-too-distant future. They were looking stronger than ever today, still growing very nicely and doing everything they should be doing. Willow's eyes were following both of us as we moved around the room; which is very reassuring. Every little normal thing such as this that they do is one small box ticked on our lengthy worry list we have in our heads. We're pretty sure that both of them won't get through what the last 20 weeks has thrown at them completely unscathed; but at the moment they're making all the right moves.
Another Monday tomorrow then, to move us further into week 21. Hopefully this week will continue to throw nice things at us.
This evening, while back at home, the song 'Wires' by Athlete came on the radio. It's one that completely passed me by when it first came out, as it meant nothing to me whatsoever. Now, it has a totally different effect. Listening to that, while looking at the first photos of Willow and Stanley, really brought it all back into perspective and it touched us both a lot more than it did when we heard it three or four months ago. If this whole nightmare all happened again right now and we had to see our babies lying helpless with tubes down their throats and wires all over them for weeks on end, we'd crack up completely. The difference is back then, they weren't really our babies, they were just these small creatures who we hadn't got to know yet.
Now, they are definitely our children and there are signs that they may be coming home with us in the not-too-distant future. They were looking stronger than ever today, still growing very nicely and doing everything they should be doing. Willow's eyes were following both of us as we moved around the room; which is very reassuring. Every little normal thing such as this that they do is one small box ticked on our lengthy worry list we have in our heads. We're pretty sure that both of them won't get through what the last 20 weeks has thrown at them completely unscathed; but at the moment they're making all the right moves.
Another Monday tomorrow then, to move us further into week 21. Hopefully this week will continue to throw nice things at us.
Saturday 12th February
It’s Mummy Senior writing this tonight as Daddy Senior is gallivanting in Exeter with Woody Woodpecker – happy stag, Simon!
We are now half an hour into Sunday and I have only just finished cleaning having come home from the babies earlier than normal with the intention of getting the house cleaned up and ready for the (hopefully) imminent arrival home of our babies. About time I say, it was 20 weeks on Friday. When you think that it will be July in 20 weeks time it really illustrates how long it has been. Driving away and leaving your babies behind doesn’t get easier and the butterflies of excitement I get arriving at the hospital each day don’t diminish with time either. If anything all our emotions are heightened at the moment. I feel terrified that something will happen that will mean our discharge is put back again and of course the thought of having them at home without our ‘2nd family’ around is pretty daunting too!
Both babies have now done the car seat test, which is just sitting in the seat whilst their sats are monitored. Willow loved it and had a little grin on her face for most of the time but Stanley was less impressed and looked up at me like I’d gone mad. They both got a tick in the box for that test and Stanley was rewarded with yet more milk.
The babies had an injection of Synagis today. It is designed to prevent RSV which is a nasty cold virus which, should they catch it, would almost certainly see them back in hospital on some kind of breathing support, maybe even a ventilator. Not all babies receive this injection as it is incredibly expensive but due to their Chronic Lung Disease they meet the criteria. The thought of them getting an infection when they are home is scary as, due to their lowered immune system and poor lungs, they will find it hard to fight – as illustrated with their latest infection that saw them back in intensive care. I bought 5 bottles of alcohol gel today and have positioned it all round the house in preparation!
It’s now 12.50am, the tumble dryer has just finished and I have just turned off the radio. The quiet that I am now faced with is such an empty one if that makes sense. It’s funny but although we have been together for 11 years and lived just the two of us for most of that time, it has only been since the 24th September that the quiet is so empty. Something is missing around here and I think it’s about time they came home!
We are now half an hour into Sunday and I have only just finished cleaning having come home from the babies earlier than normal with the intention of getting the house cleaned up and ready for the (hopefully) imminent arrival home of our babies. About time I say, it was 20 weeks on Friday. When you think that it will be July in 20 weeks time it really illustrates how long it has been. Driving away and leaving your babies behind doesn’t get easier and the butterflies of excitement I get arriving at the hospital each day don’t diminish with time either. If anything all our emotions are heightened at the moment. I feel terrified that something will happen that will mean our discharge is put back again and of course the thought of having them at home without our ‘2nd family’ around is pretty daunting too!
Both babies have now done the car seat test, which is just sitting in the seat whilst their sats are monitored. Willow loved it and had a little grin on her face for most of the time but Stanley was less impressed and looked up at me like I’d gone mad. They both got a tick in the box for that test and Stanley was rewarded with yet more milk.
The babies had an injection of Synagis today. It is designed to prevent RSV which is a nasty cold virus which, should they catch it, would almost certainly see them back in hospital on some kind of breathing support, maybe even a ventilator. Not all babies receive this injection as it is incredibly expensive but due to their Chronic Lung Disease they meet the criteria. The thought of them getting an infection when they are home is scary as, due to their lowered immune system and poor lungs, they will find it hard to fight – as illustrated with their latest infection that saw them back in intensive care. I bought 5 bottles of alcohol gel today and have positioned it all round the house in preparation!
It’s now 12.50am, the tumble dryer has just finished and I have just turned off the radio. The quiet that I am now faced with is such an empty one if that makes sense. It’s funny but although we have been together for 11 years and lived just the two of us for most of that time, it has only been since the 24th September that the quiet is so empty. Something is missing around here and I think it’s about time they came home!
Friday, 11 February 2011
Thursday 10th to Friday 11th February
Progress has continued to be made in NICU this week. Willow and Stanley and their smiles are growing bigger every day. The quarantine is still in full effect, so we're getting quite adept at negotiating babies as they slide all over the place on the plastic aprons.
We parents selfishly enjoyed a lovely dinner and a few drinks at Rhinefield House last night; something that we won't be able to do for a while soon, especially without the highly-trained babysitters of whose services we currently have the luxury. More than anything, it was nice to drive somewhere other than Poole for once. There is apparently more to the world than the assortment of roads between Moordown and St Mary's Maternity Hospital.
We're just hoping now that things keep going as they are. At this rate, the great escape might manifest itself within a week or two; but we're still being very cautious and not getting carried away with ourselves.
We parents selfishly enjoyed a lovely dinner and a few drinks at Rhinefield House last night; something that we won't be able to do for a while soon, especially without the highly-trained babysitters of whose services we currently have the luxury. More than anything, it was nice to drive somewhere other than Poole for once. There is apparently more to the world than the assortment of roads between Moordown and St Mary's Maternity Hospital.
We're just hoping now that things keep going as they are. At this rate, the great escape might manifest itself within a week or two; but we're still being very cautious and not getting carried away with ourselves.
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Tuesday 8th to Wednesday 9th February
Two very busy days for the four of us. Lots of work, baby activities and eating.
Wilow and Stanley have been well behaved again; not much changing with them at the moment, which is good. Stanley is smiling more and more every day, and Willow is very nearly there. Willow is still having the odd de-saturation, particularly during and after feeding. She does seem to be coming out of these epsiodes herself though, so hopefully this is more of a positive sign than a negative one.
The 'poo room' is still a poo room; babies with tummies which are still a bit runny. Nothing has come back from the lab yet as positive for viruses or bacteria; so the mystery continues. What it means for us is that we're using up a lot of latex gloves and plastic aprons. We've almost forgotten what it feels like to touch our babies' skin.
Tomorrow, as it's the 11th anniversary of the day we got together in the glamorous surroundings of 'Ritzy's' nightclub in Plymouth, we're treating ourselves to some fine dining and a night of good old self-indulgence in the New Forest. We're nearly at the end of our lives as irresponsible adults; soon to be entering the next phase as actual parents. And we'll never be more ready for that next phase to commence.
Wilow and Stanley have been well behaved again; not much changing with them at the moment, which is good. Stanley is smiling more and more every day, and Willow is very nearly there. Willow is still having the odd de-saturation, particularly during and after feeding. She does seem to be coming out of these epsiodes herself though, so hopefully this is more of a positive sign than a negative one.
The 'poo room' is still a poo room; babies with tummies which are still a bit runny. Nothing has come back from the lab yet as positive for viruses or bacteria; so the mystery continues. What it means for us is that we're using up a lot of latex gloves and plastic aprons. We've almost forgotten what it feels like to touch our babies' skin.
Tomorrow, as it's the 11th anniversary of the day we got together in the glamorous surroundings of 'Ritzy's' nightclub in Plymouth, we're treating ourselves to some fine dining and a night of good old self-indulgence in the New Forest. We're nearly at the end of our lives as irresponsible adults; soon to be entering the next phase as actual parents. And we'll never be more ready for that next phase to commence.
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Monday 7th February
This time, Monday morning brought with it a positive overnight report from the hospital. Much better than last Monday's anyway, which was on the other end of the scale. It's amazing how much things can change in a week.
Another good day for Willow and Stanley; a slightly less stressful day for the parents. Things are going well at the moment, apart from Willow's continued 'squits' (which seems to be the official term).
They've both been weighed again - Willow is 9lbs 8oz, Stanley is 10lbs 7oz. So no worries in the weight gain department; that box on the discharge list is well and truly ticked.
We're still not speculating about when they might be home; it always ends in disappointment. So we'll just take each day as it comes. The next big day in the calendar is next Monday - Valentine's Day. As much as we dislike the commercial hell that it has come to be, it would've been quite nice for our babies to come home on the 'day of love'. That is very unlikely to happen though. So, next on the list is my birthday, the 8th of March. Surely, they won't still be in hospital by then...
Another good day for Willow and Stanley; a slightly less stressful day for the parents. Things are going well at the moment, apart from Willow's continued 'squits' (which seems to be the official term).
They've both been weighed again - Willow is 9lbs 8oz, Stanley is 10lbs 7oz. So no worries in the weight gain department; that box on the discharge list is well and truly ticked.
We're still not speculating about when they might be home; it always ends in disappointment. So we'll just take each day as it comes. The next big day in the calendar is next Monday - Valentine's Day. As much as we dislike the commercial hell that it has come to be, it would've been quite nice for our babies to come home on the 'day of love'. That is very unlikely to happen though. So, next on the list is my birthday, the 8th of March. Surely, they won't still be in hospital by then...
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Sunday 6th February
The parents seem to be having a tougher time than the babies at the moment. Willow and Stanley are coming along quite nicely, apart from Willow's dodgy tummy. All her results have come back negative, which is good I suppose. But it would be nice to have some kind of answer as to what's causing it. Perhaps we're not eating enough curry.
We're still wearing aprons and gloves to touch either child, and no sign of the quarantine zone being lifted just yet. It could turn out that it will remain like this until the babies are released into the community.
We should stop being so negative though - our situation could be so much worse than it is. You read stuff in the news about people losing their babies at 6 or 7 months pregnant. Those babies didn't even have a chance. At least we are where we are now - with two very strong little children who have every chance to thrive in life.
So, perhaps we should learn something from Willow and Stanley. Despite all they've been through, they're able to smile through it all, and they've never given up.
It really won't be long now - we just need to hang in there for another couple of weeks.
We're still wearing aprons and gloves to touch either child, and no sign of the quarantine zone being lifted just yet. It could turn out that it will remain like this until the babies are released into the community.
We should stop being so negative though - our situation could be so much worse than it is. You read stuff in the news about people losing their babies at 6 or 7 months pregnant. Those babies didn't even have a chance. At least we are where we are now - with two very strong little children who have every chance to thrive in life.
So, perhaps we should learn something from Willow and Stanley. Despite all they've been through, they're able to smile through it all, and they've never given up.
It really won't be long now - we just need to hang in there for another couple of weeks.
Saturday 5th February
Yet another weekend in NICU. We were both pretty fed up and moaning all day today; no doubt annoying the very patient nurses and everyone else. Really just want to get out of there now.
Willow is still in the 'dirty baby' room, and Stanley is in the 'clean baby' room, so we now have to wear plastic aprons and gloves when handling Stanley too, in order to prevent infections spreading between different rooms. Although we can obviously see the need to do this, it was really the icing on the cake today. It's no fun trying to feed and burp your baby while wearing a slippery apron and gloves. It will be so nice when one day, we can just pick up Willow or Stanley, and feed them like a normal person.
So, even though nothing really bad happened today, we've been grumpy and miserable nonetheless. So we took our miserable grumpiness to Willow and Stanley's aunty and uncle for a tasty dinner, and left feeling much better.
Two positive status reports later, it's now Sunday morning and time for a bacon sarnie. After that, we might go to Poole, just for a change.
Willow is still in the 'dirty baby' room, and Stanley is in the 'clean baby' room, so we now have to wear plastic aprons and gloves when handling Stanley too, in order to prevent infections spreading between different rooms. Although we can obviously see the need to do this, it was really the icing on the cake today. It's no fun trying to feed and burp your baby while wearing a slippery apron and gloves. It will be so nice when one day, we can just pick up Willow or Stanley, and feed them like a normal person.
So, even though nothing really bad happened today, we've been grumpy and miserable nonetheless. So we took our miserable grumpiness to Willow and Stanley's aunty and uncle for a tasty dinner, and left feeling much better.
Two positive status reports later, it's now Sunday morning and time for a bacon sarnie. After that, we might go to Poole, just for a change.
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